I always knew but I was afraid to admit: Happiness is a consequence. Not a goal ‘an sich’. For example: Happiness is a warm gun. Result of good sex. Or good hunting. That’s what life is about. Creating life, creating death.
I like happiness. It can be evoked by nothingness. Example: standing on a rock watching the ocean waves crash on the shore.
Most of the time, happiness is a consequence of personal achievements. Or even of personal effort. Still, happiness is feeling. What makes one person happy, will kill someone else. You can’t touch it. It’s a state of mind.
I have been pushing it out of the way far too long. I’ve been out of action for far too long. Don’t plan, don’t evaluate. Act. Do. Even it’s just putting together an Ikea bookcase. Or a big Lego Star wars kit.
Now, put logic, intelligence, reason, reasoning, cognition and your memories on the shelf for a moment. They need a break too. Some time to relax.
Can you feel it? If you’re doing nothing, that’s fine. Doing nothing is also doing something.
There you are. That’s it. Even it is small. Being happy is always out there. Just don’t look for it. And something else: happiness has no size. It may be big, whilst you’re looking for something small. It could be small, and in the meantime you’re looking for the bigger picture.
Writing this is one small step on the way to my happiness, however short it may exist. Taking up my bass and creating some new music is another. Loving my wife and kid is one too.
© Rick Ruhland 2015